Wise old Man of the Mountain- a farewell.

I wanted to say thank you SO MUCH for all of you that left such kind comments regarding the death of my Father-in-Law.  His funeral is to take place on the 22^ndof January in Hexham.  As I sit and write this on Sunday 14^th January, his brother is trying to write his obituary for the local paper and CBC has written the eulogy for the funeral.  I wanted to so much to share my love for him and key memories connected to him. Please don’t feel compelled to read this but it is something I really wanted to write.

WOMOTM stood for Wise Old Man Of The Mountain. This became his blog pseudonym because I am reluctant to share names of family members- the reason for this name will become apparent. I remember when I first met him he seemed to me, to be such a sweet, kind man. He would not necessarily come across that way in all situations as he could be quite brusque and not the most talkative, but if you got to know him, he was such a kind, gentle soul. I always think of him as being fiercely loyal and fond of his family.  He loved everyone coming up to see him.  He was extremely generous yet always careful with money which is a stance to finances I respect greatly. 

I remember back in February 2010 when CBC took me to Northumberland, when I said goodbye to him and he gave me a big hug (bear hugs only when you arrived and left- he wasn’t one for affectionate hugs every day), I knew that I loved him and wanted to be part of his family.  It was bitterly cold that year and I lived then, in my childhood home which had no central heating.  But in Northumberland, the bed came with an electric blanket. It was a revelation! I had never experienced such luxurious warmth at bed time! I remember the Christmas or was it that Birthday,  that they bought me an electric blanket for home and winter freezing was no longer an issue.  Last year, he sent us an electric duvet as a Christmas present to keep us warm as he thought that was much better than the blankets!

He always said he liked it when I came up there because I helped him with the washing-up.  I often tried to get there before him to avoid him being chained to the washing up sink.  CBC used to laugh and say that his dad used to hum the tune form the ‘Slaves Chorus’ as he did the washing up in previous years. This always made me giggle. He was meticulous about cleaning and the housework and could be a tyrant over his routines. Many a time, I came towards the kitchen and didn’t dare enter as the mop stood like a rigid sentry to stop any entry as the floor was mopped clean! We used to laugh at it because it was such a clear signal.

Any memory of going to Northumberland is always integrally linked with the excitement of seeing him. He’d always send emails saying how much he was looking forward to us coming up.  And I remember the excitement at arriving at his warm house in Haltwhistle- the sofas with the Latin writing on, the enormous Apple screen, the photos to see, the enormous shower with its squeegee, the poetry book which sat on the shelf in the toilet which I would sit and read when in there- how I learnt to recite Jabberwocky and Daffodils whenever I was up there. He used to smile when I came down to recite what I had learnt but was also able to correct me and/or complete it if I failed. He was greatly fond of poetry and had memorised a great deal.  

One thing I loved was his willingness to always stop and smile for a photo. Most of CBC’s family always groan and hide when I try to take a picture but he always put on his friendliest smile for me. As I write this, I am gutted that I recently lost my portable hard-drive which was from my old lap top which houses all my photos from the past- it has many happy photos of our times with him. I was sad because I wanted to share this hilarious photo from CBC’s sister’s wedding in which he wore his wife’s bright pink hat, but look, I found one from our wedding where he wore her purple one! 

Photography was a great love of his- apparently he founded the Photography society at the school he worked at in Hexham for 29 years. Most of my memories of walks with him and any occasions involve his enormous SLR camera attached to his Berghaus rucksack- he let me have his Berghaus rucksack last Summer which I shall cherish.  He always generously allowed me to use his photos on my Blog posts and told me that I didn’t have to acknowledge them as his.  So many beautiful photos were taken and shared. He would upload his photos at the end of a day and would take great pleasure in editing them in Photoshop, lightening any shadows and sharpening images and I would await the great sharing of these with bated breath! For our wedding, he printed out and made some lovely collages of photos of CBC and I and.

And how could I forget the infamous Wedding Invitation photoshoot. We went with him to the grounds of Ridley Hall in Northumberland to take photos and had great fun taking photos until the three of us were asked to leave the grounds as apparently it was now private property with kids on site!

In addition, he was the great benefactor to this blog of not one, but two tripods! He knew I wanted to take outfit photos and gave me his spare which I used until I misplaced it and then he gave me his good one! I use them to this day!  His other great contribution to this blog was also the Pink Canon Ixus Camera which was a 31^stBirthday present. This marvellous camera has taken thousands upon thousands of photos for this blog and has lived in my handbag for 6 years, taking photos on a daily basis. He was always really pleased when he mentioned this camera saying with a smile, that I had really made good use of it.

My latter-life love of walking is down to CBC and him.  Every time we came up to Northumberland in the early years of mine and CBC’s relationship, he would plan a walk in the Lake District for us. He always said he liked walking with me as I walked at his pace (CBC and his brother were mountain goats who would speed on ahead.). He always loved planning where we would go next.  The first walk was in July of 2010- he chose Catbells as my inaugural peak walk and the three of us walked on Catbells in perfect weather. It was a wonderful walk and many breath-taking views were seen.  Other walks followed- Robinson and Hindscarth, Castle Cragg and my personal favourite- Rannadale Knotts.  Following his heart-attack on Summer when we were there, he found it harder to climb and this was a good walk with a burst of short uphill and then glorious ridges and downhills. We repeated this walk in glorious weather which we planned in advance as it was such a pleasant journey.  One other glorious walk I remember taking was in December 2014- we walked from Steel Rigg to Halsteads along Hadrian’s Wall.  The weather was utterly stunning- we were bathed in golden light as we reached our conclusion and he, CBC’s brother and I were so utterly delighted by this experience.

It was around 3 years ago that he was diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis and it restricted his ability to walk more- we had fewer walks as time went on but I do remember possibly the last happy walk we had in October 2016.  He had said that his walking days were over as he just struggled so much to walk but we managed to persuade him to take a short walk around Haltwhistle. I kept stopping, ostensibly to take photos but in reality in order to allow him to catch up and not feel he was holding us up and it worked- he had felt gloomy before that and after that walk, which was a real halcyon day in the autumnal gloom- he was pleased with himself for having managed to have a walk and not feel he was holding us up. I remember the delight I felt then as I had felt really bad about how gloomy he had been before that.

Two other walks or moments stand out in my mind- one was when we walked to the Prisoner of War camp near Haltwhistle.  We got caught in absolute torrential rain on the way back and since he and CBC are fairweather walkers, they were both game not to get annoyed with me for having pestered them for a walk.  As we had walked, he told me a personal story connected to that PoW camp which he had never shared with the family and they were astonished to hear it.   The other was when we took a family holiday to Sarlat in France in July 2016, before CBC went off to Costa Rica for a month. He had not had a holiday in years and he was so grateful, effusive and thankful over it and I remember him planning that we would go to Avion the next year, alas unfulfilled.   We went to this Chateau and he couldn’t hear the words very well, so the pair of us sneaked off and walked in the grounds and found a Bamboo maze to walk in!

He was a retired Maths teacher and taught me about Binary numbers- I remember the Christmas we had the epic Christmas quiz- there was a Maths round that was very hard! I remember his making some 3D shapes out of straws and then subsequently I bought him some metre-long straws in order to allow him to make something like the Great Stellated Dodecadodecahedron!  He had this amazing book which had all these complicated shapes I had never heard of!

He was a good and kind man who always made me feel welcome, maintained a kind interest in my interests- be those blogging- he was a silent reader of this page; Doctor Who (he used to record it for me when we didn’t have a TV; card-making, and books I read- I remember his saying we could watch The Hunger Games when we went up there as I had recently read them. Whilst it was harder to spend time with him in recent times, since he was ill, he was not very sociable and found it hard to cope with company, he was always humble and never wanted to cause anyone any bother.   Writing this and looking for photos, I have shed many tears and I feel so sad at the years we will not get to spend with him- despite his illness, despite the fact he was receiving Palliative care, he was such a determined guy, that I really did not see him dying when he did- I imagined us going back up there in February half term and watching Blade Runner which we had pre-ordered for him for Christmas.

I am gutted and sad that this horrid lung-disease robbed him of many more years- we all imagined him going strongly into his 90’s since he was walking fells aged 80.  I don’t know how I shall feel going up to Northumberland without him. He was who and what I immediately thought of whenever I knew we were going up there. I regret that we did not go up there often- usually around 4-6 times a year and although he was not a man who talked about feelings and things like that, I wish I had told him how much I grew to love him and was grateful so much for his friendship and kindness.  WOMOTM, know this from the very centre of my heart, that I am so, so glad I knew you and I will miss you greatly.