When I was little, it was the done thing to send a message saying whether you could come to a party or not or some other function. I always remember wondering what RSVP meant (and why is it we use the French? Is it because PR (please reply) is an already used acronym?).
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When CBC, sent out written invitations (and Facebook and e-mails and text messages) for his robot party, he became increasingly frustrated that he could not yield replies to his party. People who he asked by word of mouth said at first, that yes, they would come. Then, gradually, one by one, other things came up. One person, on the Friday said they couldn't come. Several on the day said they couldn't come. Others (due to family birth- could only drop in. Yet, it took me sending a text message on the day, checking they were still actually coming, for them to say, they could only come for a half an hour.).
He had spent a long while buying and creating decorations, planning food, ordering cakes from the French bakery. A lot of money was spent on ingredients. A lot. Because CBC likes to cook nice dishes from scratch, find nice food, not just your Iceland frozen bits (which incidently, still add up!). And yet he had no idea who was coming.
Why do we find it so hard to commit to things nowadays? Why can we not decide, "I am going to do this, I want to do it. Come hail or fire, I will be there. "
Even text message. Frequently, I send text messages to friends (and e-mails) asking them if they'd like to come to a concert I am giving. Invariably, I get one or two replies to the myriad messages I have sent and no other response (Incidently, usually in the negative)
Facebook- impersonal medium. It can be easy to feel that because we have been invited by a computer, rather than a telephone call, that there's no need to reply. However, if everyone thought that, then there would be no one at the party. And it is a cheap way to contact your friends. Phoning or posting each one can add up, I understand it is a useful way of contacting.
I don't talk her as someone who is righteous and always replies- the party has made me have a good look at my own conduct in the invitation stakes as I am as guilty as the next person at this. I only say it to gain opinions and provoke thought and discussion. For example, a wonderful singer friend recently sent me a text message asking me to come to a concert she was giving in Hackney. I talked to CBC about it and fully intended to go to it if he was also free. (because Hackney is scary at night and I didn't want to go there alone!) However, I didn't send her a message, JUST in case. Why? Because I was worried that I might feel exhausted and not want to go. Because- well, I wasn't sure? Because, I was too lazy? Because I just didn't get around to it? Well, in retrospect, having analysed my conduct, I feel a shoddy friend.
As it turned out- right up to the last minute, we were planning to go, but CBC didn't get out of work till late so there was no way we could get there in time. I didn't send her a message, because I hadn't said I was going. Again, I should have. It was rude of me, and I should have made the effort to. It would be free, would make her know I had acknowledged it and was thinking of her.
What changed? When did I start forgetting my manners and not replying to invitations? Being scatty and disorganised as I am is no excuse that I want to accept from myself
I will try to ensure that no matter HOW the invitation comes to me, that I will respond to it. Even if I think that I am an afterthought, not important, I will treat it like I am a really integral part of the experience. I won't worry about hurting someone's feeling saying I can't come. Eitther, I must make a decision that yes I am going to come or I will say instantly or as soon as possible, that I am unable to come.
What's your opinion on the 'demise' of the RSVP?
(Post written ages ago, but still relevant, even though forgotten about) CBC's robot party had recently put the thought into my mind, the demise of the RSVP, replying to let someone know you are coming to something.
When CBC, sent out written invitations (and Facebook and e-mails and text messages) for his robot party, he became increasingly frustrated that he could not yield replies to his party. People who he asked by word of mouth said at first, that yes, they would come. Then, gradually, one by one, other things came up. One person, on the Friday said they couldn't come. Several on the day said they couldn't come. Others (due to family birth- could only drop in. Yet, it took me sending a text message on the day, checking they were still actually coming, for them to say, they could only come for a half an hour.).
He had spent a long while buying and creating decorations, planning food, ordering cakes from the French bakery. A lot of money was spent on ingredients. A lot. Because CBC likes to cook nice dishes from scratch, find nice food, not just your Iceland frozen bits (which incidently, still add up!). And yet he had no idea who was coming.
Why do we find it so hard to commit to things nowadays? Why can we not decide, "I am going to do this, I want to do it. Come hail or fire, I will be there. "
Even text message. Frequently, I send text messages to friends (and e-mails) asking them if they'd like to come to a concert I am giving. Invariably, I get one or two replies to the myriad messages I have sent and no other response (Incidently, usually in the negative)
Facebook- impersonal medium. It can be easy to feel that because we have been invited by a computer, rather than a telephone call, that there's no need to reply. However, if everyone thought that, then there would be no one at the party. And it is a cheap way to contact your friends. Phoning or posting each one can add up, I understand it is a useful way of contacting.
I don't talk her as someone who is righteous and always replies- the party has made me have a good look at my own conduct in the invitation stakes as I am as guilty as the next person at this. I only say it to gain opinions and provoke thought and discussion. For example, a wonderful singer friend recently sent me a text message asking me to come to a concert she was giving in Hackney. I talked to CBC about it and fully intended to go to it if he was also free. (because Hackney is scary at night and I didn't want to go there alone!) However, I didn't send her a message, JUST in case. Why? Because I was worried that I might feel exhausted and not want to go. Because- well, I wasn't sure? Because, I was too lazy? Because I just didn't get around to it? Well, in retrospect, having analysed my conduct, I feel a shoddy friend.
As it turned out- right up to the last minute, we were planning to go, but CBC didn't get out of work till late so there was no way we could get there in time. I didn't send her a message, because I hadn't said I was going. Again, I should have. It was rude of me, and I should have made the effort to. It would be free, would make her know I had acknowledged it and was thinking of her.
What changed? When did I start forgetting my manners and not replying to invitations? Being scatty and disorganised as I am is no excuse that I want to accept from myself
I will try to ensure that no matter HOW the invitation comes to me, that I will respond to it. Even if I think that I am an afterthought, not important, I will treat it like I am a really integral part of the experience. I won't worry about hurting someone's feeling saying I can't come. Eitther, I must make a decision that yes I am going to come or I will say instantly or as soon as possible, that I am unable to come.
What's your opinion on the 'demise' of the RSVP?
(Post written ages ago, but still relevant, even though forgotten about) CBC's robot party had recently put the thought into my mind, the demise of the RSVP, replying to let someone know you are coming to something.